Our Fundamental Situation

I was wandering around my neighborhood and came across a tiny book store tucked behind a corner bakery. I stopped in on a whim and spent the next half hour breathing in the slightly musty smell of paper and listening to the muted sounds of the bakery’s kitchen in the stark silence of the room I was in. Nothing makes me feel better than being surrounded by towering shelves of books. How could it not? Hundreds of fantastic escapes into imaginary worlds are at my disposal. Or in my case today, similar souls generous enough to share their thoughts with a commiserating heart.

Bluets by Maggie Nelson came across my path today, and I spent a few wonderful hours absorbing her straight-forward description of her emotions while wallowing in my own. (Sometimes you just have to embrace the sadness to get on with the joy.)

Here’s one of my favorite quotes: “Imagine someone saying, ‘Our fundamental situation is joyful.’ Now imagine believing it.”

Finding the Humour

I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s so wonderful to know that we’re all having these little disaster comedies.

-April

Raising Tomatoes and Malbec

I wore muted colors to match the weather. I’m adaptable, keen, apropos.

I wore my high-waisted skirt to look womanly and my grey button-up shirt to look responsible. My black tights and leather ankle boots were both professional and hipster. “I’m a visionary; I’m audacious,” they said. My edgy hair and dangly earrings pulled together the hip-profesh look.

I really wanted this job.

I timed my arrival impeccably. My in-depth analysis predicted that Wednesday at 11:48am would be exactly when a prospective employee like me should plod in with a resume. I practiced what I would say, how I would confidently shake the owner’s hand, how I would make eye-contact, how I would be enthusiastic and passionate, how I would introduce myself with convincing poise, and be appreciative of her time.

I parked down the road so my entrance would be suave. I held my resume and cover letter and recommendation letter carefully to keep…

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VI

Floating by Bomobob (all rights belong to the artist)

Wanderlust by Tricia McKellar (all rights belong to artist)

Amber and I were talking about our lives last night and she mentioned that it feels like so much time has passed since she visited me in Phoenix this past March. I realized that it’s only been six months since we were stopping on the side of I-17 to take pictures of the mountains and record videos of each other for the credits of her project. It made me look at my trials and accomplishments between then and now and I’m completely stoked to see where I’ll be in the next six months. It’s been a time of self invention for me and Amber (if she doesn’t mind me saying so) and I’m so excited to see what other roads our lives are going to go down.

So here’s the little bit of wisdom this realization reinforced for me:

Take advantage of the opportunities you come across, guys, and don’t let self doubt and fear stop you. Hell, don’t let your friends or family stop you either. Fear for loved ones can cause some misguided advice sometimes. So just trust yourself and recognize when it’s time to tune out the other voices and listen to your own.

April

Jackalopes and Tea

I went exploring after work the other day and found this really amazing tea house across from work. (It’s tucked away on the second level of this old Victorian style house with trees blocking it, which is why it’s taken me two months to find it. Well, the fact that It’s above the insanely amazing clothing boutique, Sloan, wasn’t helping any either.) I’ve already spent hours this week reveling in the solitude and peaceful quiet of the place.

A friend from work also introduced me to his friend’s band, The Jackalope Saints. I sat here trying to find just the right way to convey how effing awesome they are but I’m not a writer, nor a critic. So here: They’re effing awesome. Check them out or you’ll regret it.

Carpenter’s Son by The Jackalope Saints

My Invisible Apartment

Thank goodness for Pinterest, it allows me to decorate an apartment without having to even rent one. When it comes time for me to be a big girl and live on my own (destination: undecided), at least I’ll have a reference to what I want.

I realized though I am a huge fan of color, I am not a huge fan of commitment; I like simple basics (white bedding, grey dresser, black desk) with colorful accessories (a zillion door knobs for said dresser, colorful pillows, wall furnishings). I’ll keep you all updated on my invisible apartment; comment with any suggestions!

-Amber

Balancing Act

Since I’ve graduated college I’ve found that I spend very little time doing things that I actually like. I don’t draw, take walks, hike, drive for the hell of it, nothing. Granted I’ve been working two jobs and there aren’t a lot of free hours in my day, but I’ve scaled back recently and I STILL don’t make time for myself. Why is it so hard to balance your work life, social life, and personal life?

After spending an evening after work listening to some friends jam out and just enjoy creating music and noise, I realized how completely jealous I was of them. So I’ve decided enough is enough. I’ve GOT to start making time for myself (purely myself, no friends).

Wish me luck! (And any advice/inspirational stories you have to share on this subject are eagerly welcome.)

April

Laugh!

I received a Gilt Groupe gift card the other day and decided to spend it on this bracelet. Not only do I love Alex and Ani but also this quote is my life in a brief quote. I can’t wait for it to come in the mail!
-Amber

Nesting

I’m in the process of getting a new place (PLEASE, God let me get that cute place I’ve applied for) and I’m spending a LOT of time finding ideas for decorating. Here are just a few things I found:

 

I found this shop at the Saturday Market my first day in Portland.

Adorable door knocker from Anthropologie.

 

Familiar Transitions

I’ve started a new job recently and find myself in that horribly awkward stage of showing people who I am as a coworker and human being in general. I’m a very friendly person which is both one of the best things about me and the worst. It’s the best because I can usually get along well with everyone. It’s the worst because some people think I’m an easy target to walk all over.

Now, I really don’t understand people who feel the need to constantly establish their dominance over the others around them. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I really go out of my way to make sure I’m not hurting someone’s feelings or being a bitch, (There is usually a diplomatic way of getting your thoughts/opinions across without being an asshole.) so I’m always surprised and hurt when I’m not treated the same (WHY CAN’T I HAVE THICKER SKIN?!). I let them get away with it a few times because I don’t know how to respond, meanwhile agonizing and gearing myself up for the “talk” I’m going to have to have with said person. It’s extremely stressful for me, but just because someone’s nice doesn’t mean they’re your doormat.

Some people might not get this because they’re firmly entrenched in the other camp, but I’m guessing a lot of you get what I’m talking about. So I’m going to give some advice a dear friend of mine gave me:

YOU HAVE TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. It doesn’t have to be a big confrontation or argument, but a very calm “I’m not okay with you talking to me/treating me that way”. If they aren’t a total jerk they’ll get it and respect it.

April

Words of Wisdom

My friend brought my attention to this and I fell in love. Oh Dr. Seuss.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Happy Friday everyone! -April